Cheers to the death of decorum.

Good riddance…
and make ours a double!

There was a time, we fancied ourselves a civilized nation. We’ve been reduced to social media fodder. We more than happy to live-stream our collective meltdown. It’s better than any reality show we been able to conceive.

Vanilla Ice Cream

✦

Vodka

✦

Amaretto

✦

Dark Rum

✦

Grenadine

✦

Cherry Bitters

✦

The angry tears of outrage

✦

Vanilla Ice Cream ✦ Vodka ✦ Amaretto ✦ Dark Rum ✦ Grenadine ✦ Cherry Bitters ✦ The angry tears of outrage ✦

As we sit front-row for the slow-motion decline of human decency, we might as well pour ourselves a drink… and hey how about some ice cream? We haven’t tasted this flavor of national self-loathing since Watergate or that time Covid-19 ravaged Italy while we yelled “Hoax!”. If that rings a little too true, congratulations, this cocktail might be just the thing. A fat, boozy consolation prize for us to guzzle as we stand on the world stage with pee pants.

Here’s what you need

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INGREDIENTS

1 scoop Vanilla Ice Cream

2 oz Vodka

1 oz Amaretto

1 oz Dark Rum

1 oz Grenadine

2 shakes Cherry Bitters

The angry tears of outrage (fresh-squeezed)

Garnish: A maraschino cherry–like a dunce cap

Preparation

Using your pint glass as the bottom half of your shaker, unceremoniously plop in the ice cream, vodka, amaretto, rum, grenadine, bitters, and whatever existential dread you’re carrying around today.

Shake the whole thing vigorously, awkwardly, and without any self-awareness. Finish with a full, unapologetic dirty dump back into the pint glass. Crown it with a maraschino cherry. If you’ve got sprinkles, absolutely throw them on…I mean look at the Oval Office.

We’re fancy.

Glass →

Pint Glass, because subtlety is dead.