The internet has gotten… sophisticated. Sophisticated and terrifying. It knows where I’ve been, where I’ve paused, where I’ve left my digital DNA.

There’s nothing like a campaign launch. The pop of the champagne bottles, the applause, the dopamine hit of watching your idea streak across the sky.

Let me be clear right out of the gate: I love America. But lately, I’ve been fantasizing about cheating on her with a crumbling stone house in Tuscany

At no point in this piece will Negronis be discussed. No references to Campari, no smug mentions of “equal parts,”

Somewhere in the late ’80s or early ’90s, a group of freshly minted MBAs cracked open Pandora’s box and out spilled the alphabet soup: KPI, P&L, ROI, EBITDA, CRM.

It’s not a blog. Blogs are for banana bread recipes and crafty lifehacks. It’s not a newsletter. I’m not here to whisper sweet nothings to your inbox, and I can’t offer free shipping. It’s a rant.

Once, our biggest creative obstacle was the client’s nephew with Photoshop. Now, it’s our client’s ability to prompt the biggest brain in the universe.

Look, your brand isn’t a statue. It’s not bolted to the floor. It doesn’t stay put just because you gave it a cool name and assigned some PMS colors. Brands move. They drift.

At some point—probably when someone coined the phrase “leveraging cross-functional synergy”—we quietly smothered point of view.